The Diary of You
by DangerousMistress
Summary: He was in prison for twelve years for a murder he didn't commit. The only thing in his mind is revenge, until he meets a young painter. Rated M for language, content etc. Angst, Violence, Drama/yaoi/GrimmxIchi/OOC/AU
1. Prologue

**A/N: I had this idea for a long time. A story that involves crime, the underworld etc. ****So, I hope you guys enjoy this new ride from me ;****)**

**Disclaimer****: If I own Bleach, Grimmjow would be out already...Anyway, Tite Kubo owns it.**

**Enjoy****!**

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**The Diary of You**

_**Prologue**_

_It's weird, in a way. Reading about you after years without seen you. It makes me want to burn into ashes this pages that are written with so many words about you, but I can't. Because it's all I have from you. Because it reminds me of who I am and what I am now. _

_What I become because of you._

**July 23, 2001 **

**Karakura High.**

"Hey, you done?"

"_Oh baby, yes…harder- ahhh…yes!"_

"In a minute…" Actually, an exact minute had passed when the door of the janitor's closet opened. The teenager was just finishing buckling up his belt when a smile spread across his face. His blue-gray eyes met yet another wide grin, this one from his best friend.

"You sure as hell always truth to your words, motherfucker."

"And you always knock at the right moment, asshole. Are you ready to do this?"

"Are you?"

"You need to ask? I'm always ready for a good fight. You know…you don't have to come, I can do it myself. You don't need to-"

"Shut up! You think I'll pass an opportunity like this to kick some asses."

"I guess not."

The two of them walked out of the school gym like they were invincible. They always fought together, watching each other's back since they were kids. Inseparables until the inevitable happened. As they reached the warehouse his heartbeat began to sound louder. The excitement of an upcoming fight made his heart pound harder against his rib cage. Seconds after they entered, they were surrounded. Two against who knows how many from the other school, but it didn't matter to them. This two always lived their life like there was no tomorrow, well, at least one of them did. As for the other, he wanted to change that way of thinking. He wanted, at least, for the younger one to have a better future. A better sense of life. He was more than a friend. He was his family. He was his little brother.

"And you wanted to come alone, tch! In your dreams, motherfucker."

"Yeah yeah… lets finish this and go home, you have some study to do, little bro."

"Don't you mean we, geezer?" The younger one sensed something was a little off, but ignores it after seeing the smile he always found genuine.

As the two prepared to start the brawl, already the group got closer. The older started to suspect that something was off. He didn't recognized any of the other students. When he was about to turned towards the younger one, punches already were flying at him. Little by little they got separated more than they ever were in past fights. The older one was worry about his little brother since he try to see if, at least, he could have a glimpse of him. However, it was impossible. The younger one also began to get worry but it was impossible for him either when he was surrounded by more guys every second. Until a gunshot was heard, then another. By the fourth one, the group dispersed leaving visibility to a body falling onto its knees.

"Aniki!" The younger one screamed, slowly moving towards the other but something hit him hard on the back of his head.

The bullets were burning his skin. He could feel his heartbeat slowing down, almost like a volume of a radio turning down, slowly. He turned his head slowly to the side and saw his little brother laying on the floor, blue hair turning red. Like some people say before someone dies, flashes of his life passed in front of him. He remember when that little boy called him aniki for the first time. Tears began to caress his cheeks while his body fell on the floor.

An hour later, Grimmjow woke up holding a gun with his right hand. Police were already at the scene pointing all types of firearms at him. He had a concussion and the only thing he heard was an officer telling him to put down the weapon and to put his hands behind his head.

"You are under arrest for the murder of Coyote Starrk."

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**Aniki= means elder brother. A slang used in the Yakuza world meaning, senior rank within the family(mafia), and is said as a title of respect from a lower ranking family member to a higher.**

**First time writing prologue. I hope you stay and enjoy the upcoming ride. Chapter one will be up soon so, thanks for reading and please review. Lets see how it goes and if it stays.**

**...Until Next!**


	2. Memoirs of You

**As I promised, chapter 1 is here.**

**Enjoy!**

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**The Diary of You**

_**Chapter 1: Memoirs of you**_

As the yellow bus approached the Upstate New York Penitentiary, his blue eyes were still lost into the nothing. Still unknown to what will happen next or what the hell happened twenty-two hours ago. After the cops cuffed him, he tried and kept begging for them to let him say goodbye to Starrk. Tears running down and even after his death, Grimmjow could still hear the lazy baritone voice telling him not to cry.

"_Don't cry in front of anyone. They'll think you're weak."_

At those last minutes, he didn't care if the cops thought he was weak. His mind was just recollecting the last thing he saw before he blacked out. Starrk was smiling and murmured something but it was too late to ask what exactly he said. The pain was overwhelming. He lost the only person he could call family. He left him, like his mother did fifteen years ago on the front door of that shabby apartment before she died. He didn't know nothing about her or his father. No one came for him after years of living with Lilynette Gingerbuck. No one came claiming to be his family. Only Lilynette and Starrk were his family. Lilynette was a college student taking care of her little cousin Starrk who, by then, was only four years old. She was only twenty-two when Grimmjow arrived at her small apartment.

One afternoon, when Grimmjow was seven, he came back from school and saw two police officers in front of the apartment door talking to their neighbor. He saw his neighbor crying nonstop. For a man of six foot three inches height with a body of a wrestler, sometimes he acted like a fragile woman. Charlotte Chuhlhourne was a bartender at a gay club on the red light district of Karakura. Grimmjow tried to avoid the big man but it was something inevitable.

"Oh my little boy, I'm so sorry." Charlotte grabbed the boy and embraced him. The boy indeed was taken aback, until the big man spoke again.

"My little boy, I'm so sorry to tell you this but-"

"It's okay Charlotte, thank you but I want to tell him myself." Starrk was only nine, but after that day, he became the head of this family of two.

Starrk sat on the couch and young Grimmjow followed, still confused by Starrk's reaction toward Charlotte. Without wasting time, the older one told the little one that Lilynette's body was found early in the morning near the river. Starrk told him that the cops said it was an accident. That apparently she was drinking and decided to take a swim. Starrk lied to Grimmjow. What really happened was that a small gang of high school students followed the young woman after she got out from her part-time job at the club. She was raped and left to death by the river. Police found her bruised body under the bridge covered by a carton box.

After that day, even if Charlotte became their legal guardian, Starrk took care of the little one. Taught him how to fight and how to defend himself. He became the only person Grimmjow ever loved. Anyone who tried to mess with Starrk' had to deal with the dark side of Grimmjow. A side that created a few secrets that, so far, Starrk took them to his grave. He loved his little bro too. No matter what the boy did and the punishments he had to give him, Starrk never left his side.

**oooXXooo**

The officer who was driving stopped the car abruptly. It seems they arrived to their destination after driving for a while. When they let Grimmjow out of the car, he was a different person. The tears were no longer visible. He was quite, too quite. Once inside of, what it seems to be a correctional facility outside Karakura town, the blue haired teenager was put in a closed room with no windows. Only a security camera that seconds after he got in, it was shut down. A few minutes after, Charlotte entered the room with folded prisoner clothes and a yellow envelope.

"My little boy, listen, we don't have much time so don't ask questions now. Change into this and…please listen carefully." Charlotte took the handcuffs out from his wrists and helped him get into his new attire, an orange jumpsuit.

"How did you get here and what are you doing?"

"Helping you. Didn't I just tell you not to ask questions, little boy?" Even if he was all ground up, he never stop calling him by that nickname. When Charlotte looked into those blue eyes, he stood still. The cold lifeless look Grimmjow had gave him goosebumps.

"He's dead. Someone killed my brother." Grimmjow turned his face to the left, towards the white wall. "I'm alone, Charlotte..." After those words, the older man expected tears falling down that young face. However, when the teenager gazed into icy blue eyes, nothing happened. The sight of those ocean blue eyes were nowhere near sadness. No emotion in them and Charlotte was afraid of what might happen after. He had seen that look once before.

"I know, my little boy." He gave him a last hug and continued, "Listen carefully, your real name is Grimmjow Jaeguerjaquez and the place you're going now is for your own protection. If you stay here, you'll be in danger sooner or later. You are going to a prison in America, that's all I can tell you."

"I'm Joe Starrk, Coyote's little bro. That was the name Lilynette and aniki gave me." Charlotte was more worried by the second and the problem was, he was going to be far from him. He was not going to be able to protect him, to care for him. He loved the boys. The sons he never had. Already lost one and was about to lose another. Nevertheless, for Grimmjow, he had to say goodbye. Not only that, but Charlotte hold those tears from falling long enough. As soon as the teenager with blue hair was cuffed again, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. One last time, Grimmjow smiled.

"Oji-san… Ittekimasu."

After those words, Grimmjow didn't look back anymore. Neither had he smiled like that again. What Charlotte saw at that moment, was the little boy who always asked him for gum and always smiled after getting one into his mouth. He couldn't hold no longer the tears as the one that no longer was a little boy was leaving to another country. Without knowing if he would see him again.

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**oji-san= uncle**

**ittekimasu= is a casual "goodbye" with intent on returning sometime in the future. It can also mean "I'm going and will come (back)".**

**A/N: Thank you for giving it a chance and thanks for the reviews, follows and favs! Now I'm more motivated to continue this new ride.**

**...Until next!**


	3. Shattered

**Enjoy!**

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**The Diary of You**

_**Chapter 2: Shattered **_

Sitting at the edge of his new bed, he held the yellow envelope with both hands. As if waiting for someone to tell him 'go ahead an open it', but he couldn't. He was more than just spacing out, it was as if his mind never left the warehouse. Confined in that cage called prison cell, Grimmjow was alone. For some reason, he didn't have a cellmate. He was put in one of the most isolated floors, in a cell at the far corner.

He bit his lower lip, and decided to open the envelope. There was a letter inside and as soon as he saw the handwriting, a big lump in his throat was formed. He tried not to shed a single tear, but it was impossible. Tears began to flow as he read the first words. For him, it felt as if Starrk was next to him, talking to him.

_Little bro,_

_If you're reading this, it means that I left your side and for that, I am sorry. Things will be hard for you from now on, but remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine. You must be thinking that it's your fault. It's not. I can't explain it to you on this paper but when the time comes and you're ready, you'll know the truth. The truth about me and you, little bro. _The pain he was feeling at that moment was unbearable. He felt like he was suffocating between those white walls. He could not continue. Grimmjow laid on his stomach, hands under the pillow with one of them holding with a tight grip the piece of paper. Even if his face was buried on the pillow, the sound of him sobbing was heard. He fell asleep like that, just wishing to never wake up again. The recollection of what happened before he got into that cage made him desire for his life to end.

"_Joe Starrk, I find you guilty for the murder of nineteen years old Coyote Starrk. Your sentence will be twenty-five to life." _ Those words were one of the few that welcomed him into the land of nightmares for years. With a juvenile record and no money to hire a good lawyer, Grimmjow didn't have a chance. A chance to freedom at that moment. An opportunity to set his life straight.

The morning came and with it a headache. Grimmjow opened his swallowing blue eyes barely noticing guards standing in front of the cell. One of them ordered Grimmjow to stand and extend his hands in front, while the other guard entered the cell with handcuffs. After he was suited up with chains from waist to ankles one of the guards told him to move out of the cell and stand inside the lines. If he was to put even the front of his foot out of those yellow lines he would be punish. The blue haired inmate saw it first hand when the inmate in front of him accidentally tripped over the lines. The poor guy had to go to infirmary after that because of a broken nose. The other guard briefed him on what he was going to do and where he was going. Breakfast, bathroom and back again to his cell, which it was going to be his daily routing. In addition, he would have one hour every day to go outside.

Grimmjow sat with his breakfast in front just waiting to be eaten. He wasn't hungry at all. It has been almost two days since he ate something. The last thing was a cheesesteak sandwich that Starrk made him before going to school that day. That was his last meal and what he had in front of him now made him want it to throw it to the floor. It was an excuse for a meal but it was all he was going to get from now on.

"You better start eating if you don't want to get in trouble with the cook." A big man spoke while sitting in front of Grimmjow. Without making eye contact, the man with short blond hair continued. "Not that is any of my business if you want to live, or die from hunger but it hurts my feelings, as a cook, that there's someone in here that doesn't appreciate my meals."

"Like I give a fuck." That was the only reply Grimmjow gave before letting the guard know he was done.

The man laughed like he just heard a joke. "Well, if you survived until tomorrow, I'll make you something special for tomorrow's breakfast."

Grimmjow didn't give a reply or any indication that he heard the guy's last words. However, he did heard him and regretted not having anything for breakfast. He wasn't that ignorant. He knew that sooner or later he had to fight in order to survive in that hell hole just for another day. Breakfast always gave him the right energy. He was accustomed to have his breakfast every morning or at least that's how Lilynette raised him. After she died, Starrk kept that tradition but now, not even _he_ was around.

**oooXXooo**

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**A\N: Thank you for reading...Until next!**


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